Some people believe that every mixtape must have a theme. Most of my favorite tapes are the ones where I just take whatever records I've been listening to and throw my favorite pieces of them together - I'm no great upholder of rules for mixtapes. Pretty much the only one I believe in is that a mixtape MUST be on a tape. If you can't put it in a tape deck and make musick come out, it ain't a tape, period, full stop.
So, yeah. Themes.
If I do make a mixtape with a theme, it's usually pretty specific, not like "DNTZ rainy day songs for post-partum depression" or anything. This tape is case in point. It's a 94 minute maxell, one of those tapes cut to funny lengths for making copies of cds.
This particular tape was made for me by an enemy. This was about five years ago. I didn't know he was an enemy at the time. In fact, alot of people were saying what a douchebag this kid is. I thought he was a friend. Anyway, long story short, this little prick gives me this tape and tells me that this is what he considers to be "Real Hardcore". Shitty metalcore shit. I filed the tape away - I never throw away gifts, no matter how worthless - and forgot about it until this kid did some calculated rotten shit.
These days I'm pretty chill on the whole subject. I don't see dude, and don't know what I might do if I did. Still a bad subject to get me started on. I made this tape to help me deal with wanting to find this motherfucker and kill him. Did the first side about three years ago. I recorded blank space over the second side, the "Forgive" side, because I knew that was the theme of the tape after I finished that first side, but wasn't ready to touch on that and I didn't what to leave any of the work dude had done. Had to erase it.
I think recording over a mixtape someone has made for you is one of the lower things you can do without actually stepping to them - better than burning pictures or whatever, more gratifying. To me it's like spitting in someone's face without giving them even the basic respect of facing them.
I'm still not ready to forgive, probably will never be. But I don't get in crazy moods and sit in the dark sharpening knives anymore (literally used to happen about twice a week). I'm working on it. But the tape is done, and it's one of my favorites. Here it is.
Side A - "Revenge"
Side B - "Forgiveness"
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